28 Jul 14 at 9 pm
tags: personal 

The other day, my friend placed her situation in front of me. 
She confessed that she made a “terrible” decision and that she was a “horrible” person. 

It’s so odd, but I questioned whether or not making the opposite decision would make it a wonderful one, and thus making her a fantastic person. 

See what’s so funny is that when people have a day full of misdemeanors or do poorly on an exam, that day is a bad day. Then in the other hand if there is all these joyful events, receiving flowers or random compliments, then the day is good. 

In the end, the day is still just a day, right? The only connotation of whether or not it was positive or negative is.. well, up to you. At the end of the 24 hours, the decision is still a decision, the exam was still just an exam, and you are still a person.

Every bit human, making mistakes to learn lessons, and teaching others with everything in between. 

Carried the curve in my Chemistry class by getting an A on the final and ultimately the class.
Met wonderful people in said class.
Went to one of the best rave experiences I’ve had yet.
Kidnapped my puppy from my family and brought her to my house.

Summer isn’t so bad after all. 

25 Jul 14 at 9 pm

I just want a peace of mind. 
A home that isn’t divided into two aggressive Houses, feelings that aren’t distraught, and a sense of ease that comes from drawn out nights of laziness with a kiss of summer. 

I want my parents back, the support to return, and even the discipline that I was dangerously attuned towards. 

Call me crazy, but I miss it all. 

13 Jul 14 at 7 pm

Asked by Anonymous

asker Do you miss Tammy sometimes?

All the time. 

11 Jul 14 at 7 pm

How to put this as blatantly as possible.

When my parents sat me down to explain the divorce, when my father approached me with tender thoughts of suicide, when my closest friend lost her memory of the past half year and I watched one of my closest friends, equivalent to a brother, who was dating her drop into such pain, and when I finally saw my grades my emotions were


I suppose the goal all this time was to achieve such a peak of ambivalence. Perhaps it all hit too swiftly, like a wave that swallowed up my entire way of life within 1 month. 

As a double edged sword, I don’t feel the joy, the pity, the forgiveness. I just simply don’t; and as I spoke of what has occurred in my life to a friend, I realized: 

My biggest fear is not feeling anything, anything at all. When your father is crying to you, when your brother is crying to you, when everything around you just chimes to a waning silent peak.  Now I find myself shamelessly staring my fear right into it’s intrepid beady eyes, as it wears its renowned sinister smile. 

11 Jul 14 at 7 pm

Advice to my little sister about boys.  (via brvnd-nswvn)

(via beyourdefinition)

"1. Never trust a boy who speaks in rhymes.
2. The amount of flowers he brings you doesn’t mean as much as you may perceive it to be.
3. The way he treats your siblings will reflect how he treats his own family - the same goes for how he treats animals.
4. If he opens up to you, search for the genuineness instead of absorbing every words that comes out of his mouth
5. No matter what you convince yourself to believe, or what he convinces you to believe, you do not need him.
6. Break ups are made to build up; a couple of tears were never a reason to give up permanently.
7. If he emphasizes your flaws, then he has to fix himself before he can even consider being a part of your life.
8. How tightly he holds your hand can demonstrate two types of personalities, it really depends on how tightly you hold his.
9. Intimacy is heard through the eyes, felt through the memories, and experienced through happiness. Never let anyone convince you otherwise.
10. If he treats you like a queen, treat him equally. If he reduces in attention, you mimic. This is not fire with fire, but mutual understanding.
10. If he does speak in rhymes, speak to him in riddles."

29 Jun 14 at 12 pm


when u gon stop frontin on me

29 Jun 14 at 12 pm

Humans of New York (via nujanes)

"It is important to maintain your equanimity. You cannot let yourself get too ‘up’ or too ‘down’ based on your circumstances."
“Too ‘down’ I understand. But why not too ‘up?’”
“Because the higher your mountains are, the deeper your valleys will seem. You should not react to the world. You should respond, but not react. A response is an action based on logic. A reaction is an emotional state. Your reaction will not change the world. Your reaction only changes you. Your response will change the world."

Vibrating through whatever shambles remains of my confidence, thoughts, and ambition is the gentle gust of your voice. 

Every single time I’ve received a call from you, I was a fool to call back only to hear the repeated, "I accidentally called you."

Despite the echoes of Divorce, two homes that anticipate nurturing broken childhoods, my focus veers into complete collapse when I hear the promised curiosity of your familiar "hello?" 

The papers are laid out on the table, the law is involved in deciding who keeps what; the luggage is in the corner, one of them is leaving “temporarily”. 

My grades hold as steadily as my focus on medical school, the support from my parents is individual whenever their minds are absent enough to give me a God-forsaken generic nod, and I’m trying to hold my brother and sister so damn close.

How can I pull this family together if I can’t even figure myself out?

I don’t have the fucking courage to speak up, but I’d do anything to have the familiarity that you were by my side, fierce and aggressive with any decision I had to make.

I’m just tired all the time.
But I really hate goodbyes.

"I’ve seen photographers get on their knees to capture an angle,
And painters lay on their backs to cover their canvas,
A lover gets on one knee with ring and heart in hand,
And farmers bow their backs as they tilth the land,
So why is it then considered so strange,
For a man to fall in prostration in plain view
Of all, in the middle of that street you know
Is he not an artist, or a lover, with seeds to sow?"

I was a God-forsaken fool for taking Chemistry and Physics at the same time during a 5 week summer session.

Day two and the work load is equivalent to that of 1 week of lecture already. 

Guess I’ll be going surfing soon; trying to ride these curves, yo. 

22 Jun 14 at 1 pm

Some things are better left unsaid (via dearalexandra)

(via arabellashigh)

(Source: poppyflowerpoetry, via soggycoffee)


Three years later, a new girl sits cross-legged on your bed.
She tastes like a different flavor of bubblegum than you are used to.
She opens up a book that you had to read in high school, and a folded picture of us falls out of chapter three.
Now there are two unfinished stories resting in her lap.
Inevitably, she asks, and you tell her.

You say: I dated her a while back.
You don’t say: Sometimes, when I’m holding you, I imagine the smell of her vanilla perfume.

You say: She was younger than me.
You don’t say: The sixteen summers in her bones warmed the eighteen winters my skin had weathered.

You say: It’s nothing now.
You don’t say: But it was everything then.


22 Jun 14 at 1 pm

Phrases my father constantly repeats to me.

"1. It never hurts to ask questions.
2. Always lock your doors, even if you’re just going out to the car to grab something.
3. The oldest child should reiterate lessons to his siblings; even if they refuse to obey them.
4. You get the most out of your day when you wake up before the sun does.
5. Don’t forget to kiss your mother goodnight.
6. Strength is measured of men on their capability to admit humility.
7. The healthiest life-style requires will power more than anything.
8. Do not waste your time with these activities.
9. You will be a doctor.
10. Why are you afraid?"


"Used to," means capability.
It means, “perhaps one day again.”

16 Jun 14 at 9 pm

Unknown (via fuckinq)

(Source: elalusz, via clouudy-skies)

"Hearts are wild creatures, that’s why our ribs are cages."